The Panama Adventure

I am saddened and disturbed by some things I’ve seen recently. Anthony Bourdain of course comes to mind. He touched the lives of so many with his books and TV shows. I love how he brought people together over food with so much respect and humanity. How much pain must someone be in to see death as a better option? I hate to think. Unfortunately he is only one of many. According to https://afsp.org/about-suicide/suicide-statistics/. 123 people A DAY die from suicide in the US.

I also found some videos that I think are appalling but unfortunately all too believable. I myself have seen steady streams of people walk by homeless people like they aren’t there. I know there are so many and you can’t help them all and you get numb from seeing it every day. But, a CHILD? This was a social experiment. They put a young girl on the street on a cold winter day with a cardboard sign. There was a steady stream of people passing. A few gave her a bit of money but the vast majority walked by without giving her as much as a glance. Who stopped? Who sat down next to her and offered help? Another homeless person.

https://rumble.com/v33wta-would-you-help-a-homeless-child.html?mref=96wp&mc=9b3nm&instant

In another experiment they put a very obviously pregnant woman on the street with a sign. She sat there for TWO HOURS while a steady stream of people passed before anyone stopped to help. Who helped? A previously homeless person.

https://rumble.com/v30mrh-the-pregnant-homeless-woman-social-experiment.html?mref=96wp&mrefc=2

I don’t think this would ever happen in Panama. I’ve seen an occasional beggar at the bus stop in Santiago, and probably 1/3 of the people who pass drop a coin or two in the cup. I’ve fallen off my bike or had flat tires and always, every single time, people have come to help. What has happened in the US? I myself have come across people needing help and have invariably been the only one stopping.

I’ve also talked with a lot of homeless people. If I am close enough to make eye contact I will stop. More than appreciation for any offer of help, what I felt was a sincere appreciation that I SAW them, I noticed them, I recognized that they were people. I have experienced what it’s like not to be seen, and it’s a terrible feeling
https://silverwheelsblog.wordpress.com/2016/05/12/the-homeless-traveler/

It makes me sad to think of what is going on in the US. It looks like we have no empathy. I know there are many good, caring, loving people, but there are so many people suffering alone. If they are outside of our own circle we often don’t know them, don’t see them. Our government who we hope helps our most vulnerable, it seems there is less and less help while the rich get richer and look the other way. We seem to have more and more trouble seeing the sameness in each other instead of the differences, and we seem less willing to give what we have, even if it’s only a little time and conversation.

I don’t have answers. The complexity of the problems and possible solutions are way beyond my pay grade. But, I don’t like feeling ashamed and distressed and frustrated. When I read the news or see videos like these, that is what I feel. No wonder I rarely read the news.

I was in Washington Square (New York) on my way to class one day when I came across the filming of this. There were maybe a couple dozen people watching, and she was less than 15-20 feet from me with speakers on either side of her blasting the music. It’s as powerful today as it was then.

I saw this pop up on Facebook recently and every red light went off in my brain. Nooooo!

Always here, right? I’d like to see five of my friends post this message (Not share) to show you are always there if someone needs to talk. I think I know who will.

There are a lot of expats here doing wonderful things, supporting charities, giving locals skills so they can raise their standard of living, running spay/neuter clinics which have drastically decreased the stray animal population, helping orphans and the handicapped, shipping in donated medical equipment, cleaning up beaches and other areas…. I’m sure I know only a small fraction of what people are doing.

Thats really wonderful but unfortunately, not for me. I was a nurse for decades, often battling burnout and the stresses of the job. I dropped out twice to recover and regroup. I wanted to be a medical professional all my life. I wanted to be useful, to do something to help others, to make a positive impact in my little corner of the world. I feel I did that and I touched countless people, and hopefully made their journey a bit easier. I also learned a lot, especially the value of health and life itself and how quickly that can all change.

Nurses must walk a very fine line. You can’t connect with people without caring but if you care too much, you crumble under the weight of it all. I’ve been present at many births and many deaths, profound experiences that I’m grateful for. The hardest though, for me, is the suffering of the patient and the family, usually as they make slow progress towards death. You do what you can but you are basically helpless.

Buddhism helped me enormously, not that I’m a great Buddhist by any means but still, it helped me see life as a deep and peaceful thing with waves only on the top. Sometimes the waves knocked me down and my emotions got the better of me, but knowing it’s only surface disturbance helped. I was able to care about my patients better without letting their suffering rattle me as much. I learned that it’s ok to just let things be, to just be there even if you can’t alter the course of their path.

But, even with all that, by the time I retired I was totally drained dry. I haven’t even mentioned the deteriorating US health care system, the tons of documention required to get paid and prove we aren’t commiting fraud, and the constant push to do more with less. Along with the patients and their issues, I got to watch the increasing stress of my fellow nurses and coworkers as they struggled to provide adequate care and keep the office doors open.

I thought when I was away for a while, I’d start to regain my emotional energy but it’s been well over 5 years and it’s not happening. I feel guilty that I can’t contribute much. I can’t be one of those people who is always there when someone needs to talk. I think one of the hardest things for women and for nurses is learning to take care of ourselves first. We are always putting everyone else’s needs ahead of our own and sooner or later we pay a steep price for that. I value my friends and appreciate them in my life. I want to be there for people. I’m just limited in what I can do. I suppose this is something we all need to figure out. What level of involvement is healthy for us?

Ok, I’ve said my piece and I hope I wasn’t too obnoxious to my friend on Facebook 🤭

Avioneta has been with us for a year now. I met her when she had been hit by a car and injured her foot. I got her vet care and bandaged her wound, and later took her to the spay and neuter clinic but left her where she was, never intending to take her home. The story is in an old post here. 

But, later, the trucking firm where the guys looked out for her moved away. They were going to leave her alone in the street and I couldn’t let that happen, so she came to live here.

She is a wonderful dog! She is sweet and affectionate with us, but very protective and aggressive with anyone she doesn’t know. She’s intelligent, well behaved, follows directions, doesn’t chew things, bother the trash, or pee in the house. Well there was that one time when it was thundering which she hates, and rather than go out she peed next to the toilet. At first she wanted to dash out the gate whenever she could, and she seemed worried when we left her alone. Now though she is much more relaxed, never lunges for the gate, and with a treat as we leave she almost seems happy when we go (but she’s very happy when we come back too).

So, life with the dog is going well and we are happy to have her.

Then, there is the bass guitar. I first picked it up somewhere in early or mid June of last year. The former bass player kept going to Colombia and it became increasing obvious that the band needed a substitute bassist. The only other bass players in the area are excellent and very busy with commitments to other bands. I grew up playing classical piano so I have some knowledge, and maybe I could figure out this thing with strings. Joel had a bass guitar gathering dust so he got it out and put it in my hands.

At first I was totally awkward. My fingers didn’t do what I told them to or worse, I didn’t know what to tell them to do. But, little by little, I learned. To my surprise, some songs I like have very simple bass parts. I started learning a few others that were more challenging. I saw on my blog that on July 7th I said I was learning so I must have been encouraged enough to think it was going to work out.

Once I said yes, I had until mid September to get ready.  All day, every day was spent practicing. I went to the US in July to visit kids, bought a cheap bass there and while they worked, I practiced. I came back in August and Joel and I started practicing together, and then we put it all together with Chris, our drummer.

The first gig went well! Thank goodness, since everyone in town turned out. I didn’t know I had so many wonderful, supportive friends! Almost immediately I was upgraded to full time bass player, which freed the other guy to move to Colombia which he did soon after, so it worked out for everyone.

Now, a year later, I’m starting to feel like a real bass player. It’s been a process though. I still practice every day, sometimes most of the day. Joel is self taught and I’m conservatory trained so we have had to learn each other’s languages and how to communicate. He has spent countless hours working with me on the music and other aspects of a band, equipment, lights, setting up on stage, trouble shooting, etc etc. There is a lot more that goes on than you would think!

Just in the last few weeks, it feels like something clicked with me and the band as a whole. At first it was a job and I didn’t want to screw it up, but now I’m part of creating music. We have some really cool material that is a blast to play. Joel is singing better than ever and Chris, a relatively new singer, is getting better and better all the time. We are getting tight and more professional as a group. We have made some wonderful friends in the music community, and have had the opportunity to play with some awesome musicians who sit in with us now and then, which is a wonderful experience for me and very inspiring.

Also important, I’m getting a better music – life balance. This has also been a process as I went from the very intense push to get ready to now, when I actually have some “chops” and we have more material than we can play in two evenings. Now I’m making more time for gardening, biking, friends, and other interests, and I’ve even taken an occasional day off from practicing. Maybe I can write in the blog a bit more often too.

If someone had told me I’d retire, live in Panama, have a dog named Little Airplane, and play bass in a rock band….  uh huh, right 😁 You  never know what’s around the next corner.

Food and housing are usually the biggest expenses of daily living. Here in Panama I hear a variety of comments from – living here is so much cheaper, to – it’s more expensive here than in the US!

We are very lucky to live in Chiriquí where the majority of the produce is grown. There are numerous roadside stands, people selling produce out of the back of a truck, and there is our friend Enrique who comes to our door every week with his truck loaded with fruits and vegetables. Supermarkets also sell produce, as does Pricesmart, our version of Costco.

What you buy and where you buy it can make a huge difference. You can find pretty much anything you want here, but if it’s imported it will be expensive. I thought I had to have sweet potatoes so I bought these two smallish ones in El Rey supermarket.

That comes out to $2.60 per pound. I remember being shocked at what sweet potatoes cost in the US so maybe this is a good price, but here it’s in the expensive treats category. They were very good though. There are usually employees hanging around so I don’t feel comfortable snapping photos, but I was surprised at some of the other prices, like $3 for a tiny head of cauliflower with brown spots. For comparison, Enrique weighed a good size head and said it would cost $1.25, and it was super fresh.

We have bought produce at Super Barú occasionally because their prices aren’t too bad, and it was convenient. Prices at Pricesmart also seem better except for things like blueberries or cherries that you would expect to pay a lot for. Generally though we almost never buy produce in a supermarket.

We do buy chicken at El Rey though. They have price control chickens for 2.60/kg or $1.18/lb and they are really good. If we get a nice plump one for $6+, it’s good for four meals, and then soup or a batch of dog food.

I suppose it’s like anywhere. You learn to shop where you can find decent prices on the things you buy the most. The best plan of all is to find a tight fisted Panamanian and go shopping with them! One friend found what she thought was the cheapest market in town, and then would only go when she knew the trucks were arriving with the freshest produce.

For us, at our age and money not being super tight, convenience is becoming a bigger factor in our decisions. My friend’s market may save us a couple dollars but it’s not worth the hassle of driving downtown. Someone who knows what we like and stashes the freshest broccoli under the seat just for us, oh yes.

I think this cost $16-17, if I remember correctly. Broccoli, cauliflower, chayote (a mild squash like veggie), cucumbers, onions, potatoes, tomatoes, carrots, garlic, and passion fruit (a bit expensive but I love it!) all fresh this morning and delivered to our door.

We feel that we eat well here – healthy, delicious, locally grown food and we don’t break the bank to do it. Thankfully we both have a lifetime of experience of getting the most value for our money, and we enjoy our own cooking more than eating out, so we feel fortunate rather than deprived of anything.

Life in Panama is not without risk of some nasty tropical diseases. The easily identified, beautiful, but potentially deadly aedes aegypti mosquito lives here and can carry dengue, Zika, chikungunya, and yellow fever, a disease that killed so many who came to build the canal.

Thankfully, yellow fever is no longer a problem, and I think the risk of other diseases is relatively low in this area but it is still present. As the notice below states, they have confirmed 17 cases of dengue in Chiriquí.

MINSA, the Panamanian health department, has been working hard to control mosquitoes and and educate the public. They were here last week inspecting yards for standing water, and they fined a neighbor who had water collected in their pool cover. I have a sticker on my door from past visits when they talked with me.

Yesterday, Radio Chiriquí posted this on their Facebook page:

MINSA ADVIERTE SOBRE RIESGO DEL DENGUE

El nivel de infestación del mosquito aedes aegypti en la provincia de Chiriquí aumentó la semana pasada a 2.4% y a 17 el número de casos confirmados de dengue, informó el Jefe Regional de Control de Vectores, Tec. Patricio Camarena.

En el Barrio Estudiante de La Concepción: nueve de cada cien viviendas inspeccionadas por el Ministerio de Salud estaban infestadas del aedes aegypti, vector transmisor de los virus del dengue, del zika, del chikungunya y de la fiebre amarilla.

I had an interesting conversation with a Panamanian friend. Her son and other family members are visiting his wife’s brother and family in Colorado. He said it’s beautiful there, so clean and orderly. The yards all look nice, and there are no dogs in the streets. I explained to my friend that if you don’t keep your yard cleaned up, you may hear from the neighborhood association. If your dog is running in the street, it will be taken to the dog place where you have to pay to get it back. If the dog is barking you may get a visit from the police. She was amazed. How could this be??

We are from the USA, Land of the Free, and Home of the Brave, so says our national anthem. But, what do we mean by freedom? How free are we really in the US? Even the little things, like your homeowners association telling you what you can and can’t do on your own property, and yes your dog can be sent to the pound of it’s running loose. We seem to be very concerned about bothering and being bothered by the neighbors and we have all sorts of rules and expectations.

Panama is quite different. Our neighbors had an outdoor party with music that went on until 4AM. The other neighbors just went to sleep. We play rock music all the time here and the neighbors insist that they like it. Working in front of your home is very common – turning logs into lumber, making furniture, repairing and painting cars, making concrete sinks, bathing the kids, cooking food over a wood fire, welding gates, and repairing small engines to name just a few things I saw recently. Yards are maintained, sort of, but no one complains until grass is so high you can’t see cars coming around the corner. Yard trash is routinely dumped in the nearest vacant lot or unoccupied bit of land. I’ve had to learn how to manage aggressive dogs in the streets who don’t like bikes.

This is outside our gate. It’s been a mess like this for quite a while. We will clean it up soon because we don’t like it. Nobody else cares.

My neighbor’s yard. They grow food, park work related tools, and often multiple cars.

Our street, a messy vacant lot on the left and another at the end of the street. At that moment there was only one dog running loose

Everything is a trade off. Do you want things to look a certain way, or do you feel better when you are free to let things go if you wish? I am a foreigner here so I cannot get involved in politics and I don’t know enough to speak intelligently on the subject, but it seems the people have at least as much freedom to express themselves and make their voices heard, and everyone votes.

There is freedom from being ruined by lack of health care, or health care costs. This is huge for me as one of the uninsured for most of my life. You don’t worry about being shot, or assaulted. Yes there is crime, usually theft and crimes of opportunity but we worry about it much less here. We worry about pretty much nothing, and it’s a great feeling. I never knew I suffered from lack of freedom until I came here and experienced something so different. And, most important you are free to be yourself, even if you are quite different in many ways. Nobody cares and they accept you as you are.

You are not free from rain and humidity though! Sunday night in Boquete was warmer but very muggy and damp. Yesterday and today in David have been very pleasant but the rains came at sundown last night and poured like crazy for a while, and then rained steadily into the night.

I’m happy to report that my eye problem that I blogged about in my last post is better. It’s not totally normal but there is definite improvement since Friday. yay!

Life in Panama. For us, it’s a very good life.

At first it just seemed like it was harder to read. Pharmacy magnifying glasses have worked very well but all of a sudden they didn’t. My left eye seemed cloudy and no amount of rubbing and cleaning glasses made a difference. Were the grout lines in the tiles curving? Nah, couldn’t be. On a closer look they were fine.

Yesterday was worse. I covered my right eye and entered a fun house. Things were blurry and every straight line had bumps and curves. This is definitely not right! I spoke with my son in law (he works in an ophthalmology office) and he confirmed what I knew. It’s time to see a doctor ASAP.

Thankfully this is not a problem here. I went to Chiriquí hospital. The first ophthalmologist wasn’t in and I was sent to another. He wasn’t in either but could  see me if I came back in the afternoon.

I think he had me figured out as soon as I told him my symptoms, and he confirmed it on exam. My macula is inflamed and swollen. Who knows why it happened, and only in one eye (thankfully!). I was given eye drops for inflammation, pills to decrease swelling, and a referral to a retinal specialist from Panama City who will be here in a couple weeks.

A bit of eyeball info… the retina is like a sheet of tissue that covers the back of the inside of the eye, and it detects light and sends what it finds to the brain. The macula is a special area in the retina that is responsible for the sharp vision in the center of your field of vision while the rest of the retina handles your peripheral vision. Peripheral vision isn’t sharp and clear for anyone. It’s mainly to alert you to something going on so you can direct your central vision towards it. If your central vision, your macula, isn’t functioning right your vision is seriously affected.

In a perfect world, you see this grid clearly with straight lines.

In my world it’s sort of like this, but the lines are curvy through most of the box and they are speckled gray and black, not solid. I can see with my left eye well enough to navigate in my daily life but I wouldn’t want to drive, and I can read if the text it nice and big but regular size, even with glasses is almost impossible. Yeah, messed up!

I am very optimistic that my eye will get straightened out. The plan now is to see how it responds to the medication, and then see the retinal specialist who will make further decisions as necessary. My son in law was consulted and agrees the exam and treatment were appropriate, and said they see this in their office fairly often too.

You just never know what tomorrow will bring! I am SO SO thankful to be here. I saw a doctor within hours of asking and he took very good care of me, but since he’s an ophthalmologist and eye surgeon, a specialist, he’s more expensive – $60. The medications cost about $30. Keep in mind this is private care, not the much cheaper social security system which is also available.

I am also SO thankful to my teacher Yaira and everyone else who has spoken Spanish with me and helped me learn. This doctor spoke very little English. Many doctors were trained in the US and speak English well, but not all so you might bring a translator if you don’t know.

This sure makes me think of all the people with macular degeneration, a condition that sometimes can be slowed down with treatment, but can’t be cured. I have one very good eye, and another that I think will be good again soon. I’m very fortunate.

Rainy season has returned, which always seems to bring various bugs. June bugs and beetles from tiny to huge have been around for a while. Sometimes there are little flying insects. Sometimes there are big ones with wings that don’t seem to fly. The strangest ones are the brown flying bugs that seem to shed their wings. The next morning you’ll find only wings everywhere.

If you hate bugs you might find it challenging to live here, but it’s extremely rare that I’m driven inside by bugs who won’t leave my light and screen alone, or that I’ve been bitten or stung by anything. If you find bugs interesting though, you’ll have a great time here.

A little June bug, and something that looked like a huge ant but I think is related to the other non-flying winged insects that appeared one night

Here are a coupile of the winged but non-flying insects. They seem to show up at night and the next morning you find their bodies all over, especially under lights.

Here is another one of our visitors. It is said they bite or sting but I’ve never had a problem, and they are slow moving and totally nonagressive.

What a beauty of a moth!

While I’m here, I have a few other odds and ends to share.

We grew a pineapple! Our veggie guy sold a pineapple to my neighbor, twisted the top off and planted it outside our fence where it finally made a fruit. It smells heavenly!

Home grown pineapple

Do you think Joel needs to get back on his bike? We have been busy with the band, sleeping too late, and I’m sure we could come up with more excuses. We rode today though and it felt good to be out. I also spent some time working in the yard which I need to make more time for. Now that the rain is back everything is growing again.

A happy weed

I tried gardening yesterday too, but it lasted about 3 minutes before it started raining. Apparently this guy was hiding out under the trash can I use for gardening.

That was a scorpion before Joel whacked it with a broom.

Last but definitely not least, I was running around with my neighbor one day. It is common to throw yard trash in the nearest vacant lot, so we were exploring the yard trash and came home with some plants. A kind reader identified this one as a vanilla orchid. It’s been climbing up the guanábana tree for quite a while, maybe 3-4 years. I was eating breakfast this morning and happened to glance over and saw this! A flower! I’m not going to hold my breath that it will make a vanilla bean, but you never know. Whatever it does, I’m happy to see the flower.

The vanilla orchid flower!

Life in Panama. Mi vida difícil 😁

Good luck with that. Ha!

I am going back to the US to visit family and help with the expected new granddaughter. Copa’s direct flight from Panama City to San Francisco used to be crazy expensive, but now it’s about the same price as the other decently prices flights, and it cuts out all that layover time.

Copa and United are partners. I have miles with United, so I start investigating the website to see if I could use these miles on my Copa flight.

on the Copa website
PTY to SFO Flight CM0208, departs 6/18 9:28 AM, arrive 3:05 PM, $337.46
SFO to PTY, flight CM0209, departs 7/23 8:50 PM arrives 6:o7 AM, $341.05
Total $678.51

on the United website
9:28 AM to 3:05PM, nonstop, operated by Copa Airlines, etc. Same dates, same times, same flights operated by Copa Air, $2,383. huh??!

But, if I use my miles… (still on the United website)
Mon, Jun 18, 2018 PTY – SFO 9:28 am – 3:05 pm
Mon, Jul 23, 2018 SFO – PTY 8:50 pm – 6:07 am
80,000 miles + $76.71

Cool beans! I see a link about transferring miles. Joel is planning to visit family later this summer and this would really help him out. I investigate further and learn it would be $1200 to transfer 80,000 miles to him.

This whole airline stuff drives me nuts. There are people who are constantly traveling for their work. I would not be a good candidate for a job like that.

Thank goodness I have a great travel agent. https://allaboutboquete.com/Directory/viaje-vacations-boquete–travel-agency-listing-1737.aspx   She gets me the retired people discount on any airline flying in and out of Panama, answers emails quickly, does everything on line and make it super easy. ~~shout out and big thank you to Andrea~~

I’ve asked her to go ahead and book tickets with Copa. I’ll use my miles on the next trip and give Joel the money I save.

And, just to add to the joy of my day, a lady on Facebook who appears to live in Boquete has been sending me messages…  Have you heard about the program made by the Government And Health & Human Service for helping old,young,Disable,Widow and Poor Workers?

It’s an Empowerment Program to help the people,it was Supported By The United States Of America Government and Department of Health & Human Service,i got $200,000 from them did you got yours from them,The UPS men delivered the money to my door step. I saw your name on the list with the shipping company agent ,so I thought I would see if you have gotten it. 

Yeah right. If there was such a thing, we could get a lot of homeless people off the street. Another detail, UPS men? here? in Boquete? I told her if the real Ruby wants to say hi at a gig I’ll talk but this fake one, who is conveniently out of town at the moment, she can take a hike.

Enough nonsense for today. Music time. We are working on a beautiful new song! Joel sings it so well he gives me chills.

I was surprised to find a lot of citrus in this tropical country, but it seems to thrive here. Of course I was familiar with citrus from living in Florida, but it was the usual oranges, grapefruits, and some lemons and limes. Here though, there are a lot more varieties. There are juice oranges, more green and yellow than pretty orange but very good. There are “mandarinas”, fairly large and deep green, with sweet delicious orange flesh. There are grapefruits, maybe not as pretty as we are used to but really tasty.

Then there are limones (lemons), an amazing variety of limones. There are huge lemons, called “Noriegas” because of their (edible) bumpy skin. There are little key limes. There are yellow lemons that aren’t sour. There are the smallish limones with beige patches on the green skin, and very juicy and yummy orange flesh. There are others without patches and slightly lighter flesh. It seems like I’m always running across a new kind of lemon. They all have specific names but I haven’t gotten past “limón” for everything.

In our yard alone we have oranges, mandarinas, limón, and something that is fruiting for the first time after almost being killed by leaf cutter ants. The Noriega lemon I grew from seed is thriving but not fruiting yet. Right now though, the limón is flowering and it smells so sweet! It’s on the back side of the house but when the breeze blows it brings the fragrance through the yard. It still has fruit too, which I had better pick and juice to make way for the new crop.

So, this is what I am doing, sitting on the terrace enjoying the smell of limón blossoms and somewhat cooler air. I don’t know what is going on with the weather lately. I went out on my bike Tuesday afternoon and it looked like summer, clear sky, pretty clouds against the setting sun, and a headwind coming back.

Yesterday was too hot even for me. It was sunny, windy, and so hot our little AC was no match for it. My neighbor said the old people are saying summer is coming back and the old people know a lot, so it could be. Nooooo! It’s supposed to be raining, and cooler! Today was better, still hot but with cloud cover so not as bad. At least we have water 24/7, and it’s not snowing, or any number of other things I would dislike a lot more, and I can spend the hot part of the afternoon playing bass in front of a fan. Tomorrow evening we play outdoors in Boquete, which can remind me of why we live in rhis warm place 😁