I suppose it’s still January so one can talk about resolutions for the new year, or maybe we’ll just call it sharing useful thoughts. I ran across 16 Elevating Resolutions for 2016 Inspired by Some of Humanity’s Greatest Minds on Brain Pickings and liked the article so much I wanted to share. It’s a lot to digest and think about though, so one at a time is about my speed.
#1 Cultivate Honorable Relationships, by Adrienne Rich
The quote is: “An honorable human relationship — that is, one in which two people have the right to use the word “love” — is a process, delicate, violent, often terrifying to both persons involved, a process of refining the truths they can tell each other.
It is important to do this because it breaks down human self-delusion and isolation.
It is important to do this because in doing so we do justice to our own complexity.
It is important to do this because we can count on so few people to go that hard way with us.”
Of all the resolutions I am finding this the hardest to wrap my head around. What does it mean?
I believe it means that we are willing to break down the barriers with another person and to reveal our true inner self, our vulnerable inner core. It is a scary thing to do, but it is also beautiful because with the right person, you can form a connection that is deep and meaningful and there is nothing else quite like it in our human existence. But as she says, you can count on so few people to go there with you.
I think many people go through their entire lives without a connection like this. I have worked with many families and when you look under the surface, so many of them have problems, dramas, broken relationships, and broken people. If you have someone to connect with this deeply, this honestly, you are fortunate indeed.
So, I believe what she is saying is to look for these special people and nurture these valuable relationships.
Adrienne Rich (May 16, 1929–March 27, 2012) was one of the most influential writers of poetry and prose of the 20th century, and a woman of strong convictions. She was the only person to decline the National Medal of Arts to protest the government’s plan to end funding for the National Endowment for the Arts. You can also read more about her at THIS BrainPickings LINK which contains a number of other links to her books and other articles. There is this WIKIPEDIA LINK which has a detailed biography and list of her work. Google will also point you to more ways to learn more about this remarkable woman.