Six Months. Has it been six months already?!

Six months ago I picked up my suitcase, a computer bag, and a carry on and left the life I knew behind. I took a Greyhound bus to Ft Lauderdale, and a plane to Panama City.

I remember that trip, remember being so excited. This was the real deal. I was going to Panama to live! Could I manage? Could I do what needed to be done? We had been talking about this for so long, planning it, working towards it. Had the actual day arrived? I hadn’t planned on going by myself, but I had done all I could in the US and getting things ready in Panama made sense. But, how long would it be until we were back together?

The first thing I learned is that you cannot buy a one way ticket to Panama, not unless you are a legal resident. So, after buying the cheapest return ticket the agent could find, I was allowed on the plane. The second thing I learned is you can buy a phone as soon as you arrive in Panama, but it won’t necessarily be charged up and ready to go. But, I managed to get a short call through to my friends, and the rest of the trip proceeded without a problem.

As it turned out, things fell into place very easily. Friends asked their mechanic about a car, so he sold me his wife’s car. I had emailed my housing requests to Eduardo Horno, an agent who helps with rental properties, and the first house he showed me was just perfect.  A trip to the Do-It Center had me fixed up with appliances, beds, pots and pans, and all the essentials. Of course there was still more to do, but little by little I learned my way around town, got life organized, made friends with the neighbors, and got settled. My Spanish wasn’t great and that made things harder, but I was so thankful that I could at least communicate some. I was getting by!

Things in the US also went much faster than anticipated. The house sold quickly so I ended up going back to the US for closing, and then I was there to assist Joel and his mom on the trip down. We were actually apart only three weeks, and then all of us were here in Panama.

So, what do I think after six months living here? How has reality compared to what I thought it would be?

It has been better than I expected. Life feels calmer, more simple. Part of it is us, no jobs to worry about, no home owner concerns, enough money to cover expenses. We have a lot less to worry and fret about, less to manage, less weight on our backs.

Part of it is the country. The people are so warm and friendly, and have welcomed us and gone out of their way to be helpful. What we need is available in the stores here. The internet works, electricity is reliable. We have barely begun to explore the country but we are already happy with the beauty and opportunities to have fun right in our backyard. The weather is a bit hot at the moment, but generally we climate suits us and we don’t worry about hurricanes or other natural disasters, or snow and ice.

What are we missing here?
Mail as we knew it. It takes a while to get mail sent here, but now we have a mail service so for a bit of extra money this has improved.
Reliable water. Especially now in the dry season the water tank runs dry at times, but we have learned to keep water on hand, and it’s not as hard to deal with this as one would think.
US TV. Something went on with the cable service here and they do not make the major US networks available. But, we never watched much TV before so we don’t care. And, I discovered some shows we watched occasionally, like Pickers or Pawn Stars are available here dubbed in Spanish.

If I had it to do over, would I do it? Would I do anything differently? 
Oh yes, oh my goodness yes I would do it!
Differently? Not really.
We could have drawn up power of attorney papers so Joel could sign my name at closing for the house. We didn’t realize how slow it would be to send papers back and forth.
I could have bought a phone on a previous trip so it would be charged up and ready to go. It was frustrating not to be able to contact the friends who were waiting for me at the other end.
I could have bought a round trip ticket so I wasn’t stuck making a last minute decision, but this was only a bit of wasted money.
But these things are minor in the big picture, and I have no regrets about how we managed the overall move and transition.

It will be interesting to see how everything feels at the end of our first year. We’ve been here long enough that what is considered the honeymoon phase should be over. But also, since Joel’s mom as recently returned to the US, this is another beginning with our changed living circumstances.

I think I can say with confidence that we are doing very well in Panama, and that we will continue to be happy here!

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Cerro Punta – Do You Know Where Your Vegetables Come From?

Saturday we set out to see some new places and had a wonderful day! We headed to Volcan, and then east to Bambito where our friends were exhibiting at an art show. This is a lovely area in the mountains with streams flowing over rocks, big pine trees, and cool breezes.

After this we headed even higher into the mountains to see Cerro Punta, an area known for growing vegetables. I had visions of wide fields and was quite surprised. It is high in the mountains, very cool, and vegetables are grown up the sides of the mountains! I will definitely look at our vegetables with new appreciation after seeing all the people hard at work, often clinging to the side of a mountain.

 

How fascinating to see this area, and see what goes into producing our food! I was told that the volcanic soil here is very rich, and the cooler climate makes it possible to grow a lot of cooler weather vegetables.

I was also told it’s inexpensive to buy produce there and since we were there, I loaded up. The bags hanging above my head in the last photo – they are $1/each. I bought 3 bags of tomatoes, 1 bag of beets, 1 bag of onions, 1 bag of carrots, a very large head of broccoli, some green peppers, and two large cucumbers  $7.90.  This area is about 1 1/2 hours away from where we live so not practical for regular shopping, but I’ll certainly take advantage of it if we are in the area.

I am so thankful for this delicious healthy produce that we enjoy every day, and for all the hard working people who grow it for us. I’m also thankful that we were able to visit!

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Monthly Peace Challenge: Marching towards Forgiveness

Monthly Peace Challenge: Marching towards Forgiveness
“Every thought, every word, every action for peace brings peace. I don’t know when we will reach critical mass and tilt the scales towards peace, but I have no doubt that it is possible.” – Kozo

I am behind so this post is overdue. March’s challenge was to write about forgiveness.

At the moment my mind is shaken. I just learned that a friend, colleague, and doctor was killed when his personal plane crashed. He was a good man and a good doctor who will be missed by so many. Life is too short to allow needless negativity.

It’s also been a very rough few months in our own house. This post may be more therapy for me than good reading for you, but hopefully it has some useful ideas.

“Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.” Mark Twain

Forgiveness is a hard concept. Someone hurt you. Someone did you wrong. Every instinct tells you to defend yourself, to make them realize your pain, to make them make it right. When you are denied this your thoughts go further into negative territory, to punishment, to revenge.  But, of course, this accomplishes nothing but more negativity.

When you forgive, you in no way change the past – but you sure do change the future. Bernard Meltzer 

Forgiveness is accepting your pain and anger, acknowledging it, and letting it go. Accept that the past cannot be changed. Do not let the feelings from the past take hold of your life in the present. Forgiveness doesn’t mean that you condone hurtful actions, or that you stop protecting yourself. It means that you do not hold on to that hurt and negativity because if you do, it will only infuse negativity into your own life. Forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself.

Forgiveness is not always easy. At times, it feels more painful than the wound we suffered, to forgive the one that inflicted it. And yet, there is no peace without forgiveness.  Marianne Williamson 

Forgiveness is a conscious decision. It takes time. It is a process. When the hurt feelings arise you try to look beyond them with compassion for the person who wronged you. You try to realize it arose from their own pain, their own inability to behave better. You look at the situation with regret that it happened. For something serious sometimes it can take weeks, months, even years but little by little you shift how you look at it, shift how you feel about it. Little by little the anger and hurt are replaced by regret and compassion. As this happens the negativity subsides and your mind feels more peace.

The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong. Mahatma Gandhi

Forgive yourself. None of us are perfect and we all have regrets. Keep working to improve yourself, but also treat yourself with compassion and forgiveness. This may be the hardest of all, to truly love and accept yourself. But, if you can have more love and peace in your heart, this is the first step in spreading more love and peace to the world around you.

“It’s toughest to forgive ourselves, so it’s best probably to start with other people. It’s almost like peeling an onion. Layer by layer, forgiving others, you really do get to the point where you can forgive yourself.” – Patty Duke

I understand what I have written, but living it is more difficult. There were years of rejection and banishment, but I forgave and agreed to rebuild a relationship. I quickly learned that the depths of negative feelings towards me were even worse than I thought. But, I also learned of similar behavior that has affected many others. I saw that the state of things probably has much less to do with who I am or anything I’ve done than I was led to believe. Understanding all this has helped me move forward, to make more sense of things.

Writing this post has taken time, research, and thought but it has been very helpful. Anyone can say “You should forgive” but do we really understand what that means, how the process works? Maybe not. Does it mean that whatever the other person did is declared OK? No. Does it mean that we should try to remove the negative influences of it in ourselves? Yes! Does it mean we should protect ourselves and change bad situations? Yes of course.

“If you can cultivate the right attitude, your enemies are your best spiritual teachers because their presence provides you with the opportunity to enhance and develop tolerance, patience and understanding.”  Dalai Lama XIV

The situation has been changed. My understanding has increased. I feel like I have been making progress. Thank you Kozo for the helpful challenge, and for all the positive, peaceful energy you put out into our world!

“World peace must develop from inner peace. Peace is not just mere absence of violence. Peace is, I think, the manifestation of human compassion.” Dalai Lama XIV

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Weekly Photo Challenge: Color

Weekly Photo Challenge: Color

Color? in Panama? Not a problem! I pulled out some of my favorites.

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Checking In

One reason for this blog is to let friends and family know what is going on, and that all is well. I haven’t spent much time at my desk lately so I thought I’d write a note.

Yesterday we went to Volcan and Cerro Punta. It was a great day and photos will definitely be coming. This is an area where many of our vegetables are grown and it’s gorgeous.

I’ve also been cleaning up the yard a bit. The weather feels cooler and it’s a pleasure to be outside. The dry season has been very windy at times and many trees have lost a lot of their leaves, so there are tons of leaves to be cleaned up.

There is a photo challenge in the works. I’m behind in Bloggers for Peace, so there are couple of those posts coming at some point.

I also got out the Spanish verb book today. I’m at the end of my series of classes and since we want to do some traveling, I decided to take a break. But, there is no reason I can’t study on my own. I’m going to try and make that a priority before blogging and email and all the other things I tend to do.

We’ve also been having fun with friends and neighbors. We stopped by an art show in Bambito, near Volcan, where friends were exhibiting and had a nice visit with them. My kids are not going to believe this knowing how ticklish my feet are, but my friend painted my toenails. She did a great job without tickling! I can’t remember ever having nail polish on my toes before.

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So, that’s the highlights from Panama. All is well and life is good.

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Common Sense and Good Manners

“Common sense is not so common.” – Voltaire
Unfortunately this is true all too often.

Usually I boycott online forums and discussion groups. Lately I have been thinking it would be helpful to get more involved so I’ve gone back to them a bit.  Then I am reminded of the things that bother me and made me stay away.  They seem to fall in two main categories.

1. Believing the hype, unrealistic expectations, and not doing homework
Paradise” By now, just seeing that word makes all my red flags go up and I think oh no, they believe what they read and don’t do their own research.  “I am going to come live in paradise”. Variations on this come up all the time, followed by – “I just have a few questions” Then the truth soon becomes obvious. The person has never visited, has done minimal research, doesn’t intend to learn the language,  and expects… well who knows what they expect. Paradise, I suppose but whatever it is, it isn’t going to be reality.

When you come here to live, you are not on vacation. You are not a tourist. Sure, it’s nice to have this beautiful country and all it offers. But, you also have to manage daily living – the electric bill, car repairs, shopping, why is the water off again today? People hear about the eternal spring of the mountains, the beauty of the beaches, the low cost of living, the vibrant expat community (see below for more on that!) and forget that this is only the frosting. Who cares about the frosting if the cake doesn’t work for you?

I think it takes a certain kind of person to make a successful move. First -someone who knows their needs and wants, does their homework, and approaches it with a big dose of common sense. Second -someone who wants to experience a new country and culture, and has the flexibility and patience to deal with the challenges.  If you only want to get away from something and are not drawn to this new experience, it may not go well.  (see Joel’s posts here) I can spend time trying to explain reality of living here, but is it really going to make a difference? I’m usually just the bad guy trying to rain on their parade, and they don’t want to hear it.

2. Bad manners, the ugly American
We were at the pharmacy yesterday. There was a man and a woman ahead of us. The woman had an insulin pen and the needle was bent, not working, and she wanted to buy more. The pharmacy didn’t have them. Another customer tried to suggest other pharmacies. They had already driven down from Boquete and she didn’t want to drive around any more. She became more and more angry and finally stormed out. The man turned out to be someone only helping out because she spoke no Spanish, and he was left apologizing for her and thanking the staff for their help. (Don’t ask me why someone on insulin wouldn’t have a decent supply of needles already on hand!) I am so embarrassed when I see other gringos behaving badly like this.

This is nothing compared to the behavior I have often seen online. People tear each other up! I know it happens everywhere online. When you are behind a computer screen instead of talking to someone’s face it is easier to say things you’d never say otherwise. But, that you say such negative things whatever the circumstances, what does that say about you? What it says to me is that these are people I do not want to associate with. I do not want to live where they live, or spend time with them. Unfortunately the few who behave badly color the experience for everyone, including all the good and kind people in the group. I think this negativity online is much more serious because it’s there forever, for the whole world to read. I cringe when I see expats saying derogatory things about Panamanians because I know Panamanians also read these forums and groups, and I can imagine how it makes them feel.

bambi

Is it a good idea to spend time online in these groups and forums? Probably not, not for me. Joel tells me more than I want to know and alerts me if there is something I might respond to, some particular information I might be able to offer. In general though, I have other things to do. This blog is under my control and unlike the groups, I can remove mean and negative people.

Joel often repeats a quote he heard – “Do not associate with negative peoples!”  He is so right. I don’t need that kind of energy. We have worked long and hard to get our lives and our relationship and our experience of living in such a good place. So, if you rarely see me on line in discussion groups or forums, that’s why. If I don’t hang out with many other gringos, that’s why. If I don’t know what’s going on in the news either, that’s why. I’d rather fill our lives with the positive energy that is all around us, and spend time with happy Panamanians!

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And, it’s raining again as we speak! Could it be possible that summer is coming to an end and the rainy season is returning? It sure feels different this week.

joeltc1's avatarFindingMySelfinPanama

David is not as hot as Lancaster, California or Manhattan, KS  but at 97F it sure isn’t COOL! Since we don’t have AC I’ve been taking 2-4 showers a day and that did the trick. Even at 97 it was so dry that I wasn’t sweating, just felt like the oven door had been left open. All that changed yesterday…. M2910006Kris trying out the “computer in a hammock on a rainy day” concept.

M2910005It looks like Kris is  getting wet but the roof extends 5′ past the hammock

Coming from freezing Portland, Maine to cooking David, Panama the extreme climate change took the wind out of my sails last week but then came….THE RAIN!

M2910007Thunder, lightning and lots of cooling rain. They say the rainy season starts on April 15 but if it wants to come early, let it come.M2910008

I’m actually comfortable while writing this post, it’s so nice…

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The River

I know I’ve posted river photos before but it’s one of my favorite places to go with my camera. I wish I had taken the video camera so I could capture some of the sounds. There was a whole chorus of different birds singing in every direction! It sounds so alive here because day and night there are so many birds and insects with a lot to say.

Anyway, these are today’s photos. The little lizards are the Jesus lizards who walk on water (literally! They can run across the water, and that’s how they got their name)

I have a cold so I don’t feel like doing much, and the thinking part of my brain is barely functioning. Somehow though the photo and visual part of my brain seems to be doing better so it’s been a good day to sit at my desk and go through photos. I’m sure I’ll get my act together in a couple days and there will be more writing soon.

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Another Tree

I am endlessly fascinated by the trees here.  We were walking in a new area the other day, an open space where roads are being built in preparation for a new housing area. At the end of one of the roads was this magnificent tree.

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The tree gets more interesting the closer you get.

I’ve been looking on amazon. There is a book there – Trees of Panama and Costa Rica. I think I need something like this. I’d also like to have a book about insects. According to “Insects of Panama and Mesoamerica” on amazon –  One of the highest concentrations of insect species in the world is found in Mesoamerica and the Isthmus of Panama. But, that is a subject for another day. Right now we are off to visit the river, and I’m taking the camera (of course!)

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Mango Season!

There are mango trees all over town with fruit on them. Some of these trees are huge!

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If they are in a well traveled area the fruit is usually picked up. If you can find one in a less traveled area or know someone with a tree you might get lucky. We even got a bag full from the plant shop because his tree was dropping mangoes everywhere. Or, you can also get them at the produce markets.

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They are sweet, delicious, and taste like sunshine!

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I’ve been watching them grow, waiting for mango season, and it has been worth the wait! I love mangoes and these are wonderful.

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